THE LIFESTYLE EDITION: POSITIVE MENTAL ATTITUDE FOR BEGINNERS

The other weekend I raced my little butt off backstage at London Fashion Week, jumping here and there, snapping up some social media content and photography for one of the beauty brands I work for. Now, it was work but it was fun, hectic and tiring, all at once. I’ve done LFW three years in a row and I can’t complain as it never disappoints. Anyway, without digressing too much into that, you can imagine the high I was on catching that train back home. Mood levels were at peak point. I was really happy with how the day went and I was ready to treat myself to a glass of bubbles (back in bed). I got to the station ready to pick up my car and drive myself home but to my sheer surprise I was slapped with a fine on my windscreen. In all of the madness, rush and excitement of the day it had totally slipped my mind that morning (early morning) to pay for my parking on my phone. The amount of times I have parked in that bloody car park! I had just simply forgot. It’s so ironic how I was actually doing my company at work a favour on the weekend, I was covering, I was giving up my spare time, yet it backfired. I couldn’t help but laugh, after swearing under my breathe of course. I got home, paid the fine and got over it. Why? Because what would I achieve from moaning and repeating the same story over and over to my mum, work colleagues and friends, something I would usually do. That same line, ‘you’d never guess what’. I’m learning that highlighting the shir stories, the negatives in everything becomes s.u.c.h a draining process. I had an amazing day and I didn’t want that to taint it. Sure, I was pissed off for a moment because it was £60 that I really didn’t want to pay out but truthfully speaking it was my fault and I just wasn’t going to dwell on it.

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I’ve been trying to have and maintain this attitude in general lately. A positive mental attitude is so much more satisfying, refreshing and uplifting than being bothered and consumed by the silly little negatives of the day to day, well, of everything really. I used to hate the ‘always look on the bright side of life’ kind of people, those that were overly enthusiastic, full of beans, in your face with it. I can’t say I have taken to that extreme but I am starting, I’m starting small and slow. It’s actually really interesting how quickly your life can change when you start this process. The people that come into your life, leave your life and the things that happen along with it. I have always been a big believer in what goes around comes around. Being the bigger person, moving forward and thinking positively takes time. It doesn’t happen at the click of a finger. Adjusting the way you think and act is a choice. I think it also requires a level of maturity. Only you can be ready to change your way of thinking. I’m aware there is a risk of this all sounding a little preachy, slightly far fetched even but rest assured it’s not meant to be, at all. We all have our moments, our off days and we’re entitled to them. This goes without saying. I wanted to openly write about this topic in particular, hold my hands up to the negative spaces I’ve been caught up in and be honest about my past experiences. I have quite an addictive personality and I know that if I surround myself for too long with a negative atmosphere, defeatist people then I revert straight back to those thoughts and feelings too. It’s just so easy to do! I’ve been there and I don’t think it’s a particularly nice place to be in.

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When we say positive mental attitude, I don’t think we mean starting our day by spiritedly jumping out of bed, blaring out The Sound Of Music and turning our lives into a perfectly planned musical. Of course, if you do wish to do this then be my guest. I guess I mean simply opening up your mind to the possibility that life, conversations, situations and people can be far more enjoyable with a dose of positive energy. As I said before, this could be something so small. As an example, I used to be incredibly guilty for avoiding the whole approach to trying new things. I’ve always liked a comfort zone and I would tend to stick to it. I’m confident at what I know and surprisingly scared shitless of things that I don’t. I hate the thought of looking ‘stupid’. So when an offer of a dinner date that involved the use of chopsticks came on the table, literally, I did have a lil’ mini freak-out. The fear of embarrassing myself was at the forefront of my mind. I’ve never used them before. However, I gave it a try, my best try, even if I was red faced for the most part but do you know what? I felt better for it. We had a laugh, even if I did feel like I was being judged by my date sitting in front of me, oh and the couple next to us, who were evidently a perfect match because their chopstick skills were da bomb. Why couldn’t it have been a wine drinking challenge?! Something to give me the upper hand! Rather than worrying about it, focusing on how bad it could have been, I just went for it, flipped the unnecessary worrying on it’s head and gave something new a try. Interestingly, surrounding yourself with people that ever so gently push you to try new things is also a complete game changer.

Negativity stems from all sorts; self-doubt, stress, jealousy. Sometimes, we can be our own worst enemies. Of course, there’s a big difference between being a negative person and someone who is just riding the wave and acknowledging their feelings here and there. Riding the wave; my most used saying of 2018. Usually I am the latter but sometimes I’m guilty of all three of those emotions. Admittedly self-doubt being right at the top. The way I personally attempt to deal with that is by trying to think more positively about things as and when I can. Even just in everyday language. Simple phrases that we could easily reword.

Sorry I’m late >> Thanks for waiting 

I can’t >> I’ll try my best 

I forgot >> I’ll be sure to set a reminder 

Don’t >> I prefer it when…

I’m tired >> I should rest 

No problem >> definitely!

Tweaking certain phrases that may not obviously sound negative and shifting the thought behind them will make a difference in your day, your outlook and your emotions, down to how you say things, with a frown or a smile. Don’t they say we use more energy to frown than to smile? I’d much rather have a smile on my face any day of the week, wouldn’t you?

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