‘If you’re frightened of damaging yourself, you increase the risk of doing just that. Consider the tightrope walker. Do you think he spares any thought for falling while he’s walking the tightrope? No, he accepts the risk, and enjoys the thrill of braving the danger. If you spend your whole life being careful not to break anything, you’ll get terribly bored, you know… I can’t think of anything more fun than being impulsive’
– Mathis Malzieu
I often have moments where I have an overwhelming urge to do something a little out of the box, take a step out of my comfort zone, throw caution to the wind, so to speak. Being impulsive is generally considered as a negative personality trait. Something which, if I do say so myself, I don’t agree with. I personally think there are tonne’s of positives associated with leading an impulsive life. We all do it, make a decision based on impulse. Having an impulsive nature means acting on your gut instinct, and there are times when you need to act on this instinct to make the right decision for you. How many times have you thought ‘nope, I just don’t have a good feeling about this’ and gone against the grain. It’s often seen as not thinking about the consequences, I have to say, I kinda like that risky attitude to life! It works for me, not always others, and thats fine. One of my regular phrases in life is ‘fuck it’ and I think this pretty much clarifies that I thrive off impulse! This could have stemmed from my care-free childhood. My parents were not really that strict, they left my brother and I to pretty much make our on-going life decisions for ourselves. This is something that I really respected. There was never any pressure. They had quite the ‘learn from your mistakes’ attitude. I mean, they’re pretty cool for that. My mum is a free spirit, very kooky, I definitely take after her. Of course, there were mistakes, there are mistakes. Hands up, my decisions aren’t always the right ones but as cliche as it sounds, at the time I always did what I thought was the best thing to do for me, better than being ordered about by some know-it-all (in my most humble opinion).
I had a shoot last weekend with Stacey and I wanted to try something little a different. With all of three seconds wracking my brain as to what to do, I was in my car bombing down to the shops. I picked up a bottle of brightly coloured peachy pink hair dye, got back into my car, sped off home and slapped the stuff on my head. Easy as abc! I didn’t think, I just did. In the space of an hour, I had changed my appearance without a second thought. What if it goes wrong? Would work be okay with this? None of those questions entered my mind. It’s just hair. I’m so disconnected with things like this and that ‘fuck it’ attitude is always ready surface. You know you’ve got people questioning your actions when you get the classic ‘you okay Hun’ look. I got this from Stacey when I met her in our usual coffee spot. It was a glorious day, the sun was shining albeit absolutely freezing. My god it was fresh! As per usual my spontaneous manner kicked in and I threw on something utterly questionable. Even I was brave for this one! I had a vision, I had an idea for this post and with the sun out, I decided to have some skin on show too. Dressed up, or more appropriately down, in a little skimpy, bright red, look at me, bodysuit. They did look, they all did. I was freezing my tits off. Literally, I had no bra on. What? It’s not like you can’t spot that for yourselves. Luckily for me, Stacey was as gracious as ever and didn’t bat an eye lid when the rather excitable duo of what I can only describe as teenage chavs walked by. I’m sure you can imagine! So what, so what if it was daring, mad, stupid, whatever anyone thinks, I had the best time, I was laughing the whole way through it.
I’m surrounded by friends that have this nature too. In fact, my friend Tiffany is a prime example of this. She’ll ask several people their opinion on something, full well knowing she’s going to just go with what she thinks anyway. It always makes me smirk. She does this because although she appreciates the input of others, she trusts her own judgement and I love that about her. The confidence she has within her choices. This is something, amongst a trillion other, that we have in common. It’s why we gel so well together. We’re on the same page. I think it’s important to remember that being impulsive isn’t being inconsiderate, or unwilling to value other opinions on situations, sometimes it may seem that way, but it’s not, not really. Being impulsive I guess requires balance, an even playing field of trusting your gut, and thinking things through when necessary. I think a lot of my impulsive nature comes from impatience and a need to blaze through things quickly; daily tasks, life plans. If I’m not motivated, I’m not passionate and that’s when I get bored. Truthfully, I have a fickle little mind
It gets better. I’m going to Amsterdam and as of three days ago I didn’t even have a passport. Didn’t believe me up there? Yep, I’m that girl. Wanna go to Amsterdam? Sure! When? Next week? Fuck it, why not! There it is, that star saying. Fuck it! Well, it is my mantra. It’s moments like this that I love. What could be so bad as to flying out of the country on a whim. It’s exciting. That’s what life should be about. Just jumping on a plane whenever the mood takes you. Ciao Adios! I need this trip. I need to do this for me, and have some fun. It’s more than just going wherever the spur of the moment takes you, it’s the feeling you get from it. A buzz. A different look on life. I’ve never felt so excited by plans that I have for the year ahead. I completely appreciate life also is about sincerity, forward-planning and sometimes structure but when it doesn’t have to be, that’s when we should be making the most of it. Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making plans. How true is that saying? We are in March now. Three whole months into the year. I promised myself that this year I wouldn’t let the time just pass me by. I wouldn’t focus on things that didn’t matter so much, I wouldn’t bust my gut over something that didn’t give me anything back. I guess this out-going attitude came from a difficult year and loosing somebody so special within our family, someone that I looked up to, my childhood favourite, somebody who was full of life, bundles of energy but had that taken away from them. I don’t think you ever get over something like that. I guess it puts everything into perspective, what matters and what doesn’t, the things you have time for and the things you don’t. 2018 is moving at the speed of light and I’m whizzing along with it. I’m booking trips, I’m throwing myself into new challenges, I’m going to gigs, I’m dancing like no-ones watching, enjoying every slice of life. I’m not thinking, I’m just doing and by my experiences so far, it’s a bloody brilliant way if living this gig we call life.
Imagery by Stacey
Most of these pieces are old, alternative clothing links included below: