‘Um, I live with my parents’ I say softly (so unlike me) with my head down, feeling myself cringe as I tell the guy I really fancy that I currently reside with the mothership. Luckily for me, a ‘me too’ response makes me feel less like a 28yr old big human baby. So there, I said it. I live at home. The truth of the matter is, so many people (older and younger) I know still do live at home. There’s nothing abnormal about it. In the society that we live in, we all know too well how difficult it is to own your own home and I absolutely salute those that do because unless you have the luck of winning the lottery behind you, it comes with sacrifices, stress and strain.

After living alone for almost two years in rented accommodation, I recently made the tough decision to move back home. That’s exactly what it felt at the time; a step back. Living alone is quite honestly a dream. Independence sky rockets, you have nobody to answer to except the local pizza delivery man and nobody to judge you (a nod to a two week washing pile in the corner). So why did I decide to leave this beautiful bubble of freedom you ask? I must admit a small mixture of things but when push came to shove, ultimately my decision was based on a financial one. As much as renting on your own comes with it’s perks such as unlimited freedom and social gatherings (parties) it also comes with it’s compromises and it can really take it’s toll on the ol’ purse strings and more worryingly, your mood. Earning a full time salary and feeling somewhat skint month after month was becoming a tiring monthly process. Wanna know something for free? (excuse the pun) bills and shit, well they’re expensive, even more so when you’re going it alone. ‘Saving for a rainy day’ was out of the question. If it was a toss up over saving and socialising, I always look the latter which meant that I was going nowhere fast. I didn’t realise it at the time but the effects of cutting back just to get by were making me moody and irritable. Being completely truthful, I just thought I wouldn’t always be in that house on my own. ‘It’s fine, I’ll meet someone’. So when I say truthful, I mean naive of course. Life doesn’t come with a plan, a time frame or even an agenda and that’s okay. Bringing everything around full-swing, I’m surprisingly happy with where I am at the moment and what’s in store for the year ahead.

So, four months in, back at home in my little box room and I have to say I instantly feel a little relieved. Mind you, I’ve cluttered everything in some how. Prints, candles, lotions and potions, all of my favourite things bundles in alongside bunches of eucalyptus. Sometimes, my bedroom looks more like a jungle! I donated mountains of homewares to the charity shop and my mum updated her hoover with my rather expensive Dyson. My blogger bestie came over one evening to help and I have to admit I was frantic. Being my ever so dramatic self, I was throwing piles of boxes at her telling her to ‘just get rid of the lot’. Once I made that decision to move out, there was no going back. Being the friend that she is, she ignored my wishes and safely stored in her loft is a box of all sorts. That’s friendship, seeing right through someone’s madness and going along with it, until all is calm again. Well, things are on the up, I’ve got cash in my pocket, I’m out with friends more than I ever have been before, my mum is even doing my washing again. Safe to say, I’m feeling a little like a total princess. Coming home after a hard days work to a full house feels lovely, it’s warm, safe and cosy and best of all, there is always someone around to talk to. I’m a people person and I’ve really missed that social aspect. The evenings you fly through the door, unload the day and have a natter over a much-needed Monday night cuppa. A face to face conversation always triumphs a WhatsApp one. Human contact, a friendly face, a soft hug, a quick ‘does my outfit look okay‘, it’s all been quietly lacking for me, pushing the absence of it all to the back of my mind as I try and fill the void by playing music as loud as I can (soz neighbours). As I said before, plenty of perks to living alone but in hindsight, nothing beats the family home, or a friendly home at least. The noise, the pets, the chaos, the fighting for the bathroom, the annoyance of it all that we so secretly love to hate.

With all of this being said, I’m very conscious that I won’t let my independence slip and I’m mindful that this is simply a stop gap. A few months to gather some cash, go with the flow and treat myself to a good time, and then put a plan of action into place. Life is unexpected, so who knows whats around the corner! Speaking from experience, I certainly don’t!

  • I am so so glad I read this and finally feel as though someone understands how I feel. I’ve been living on my own for over a year now, and despite absolutely loving the independence I have. I’m constantly skint, to a point that people never understand and always think i’m exaggerating, I get so lonely in the evenings unless i’m seeing my friends/boyfriend and it can be somewhat draining having to work a full day, come home, make dinner, tidy the flat and everything else in between. Although moving back with my parents isn’t an option now, (I moved to a different city and have built a life here, also my parents don’t have room for me now), I feel slightly lost at what my next move is. I’m patiently waiting until my boyfriend asks me to move in with him, but until then I guess i’m just going to power through, but it is honestly so refreshing to know someone has felt exactly the way I do. Good for you for moving back into your parents house, I can imagine it was quite a difficult decision but I’m so glad that you’re a lot happier overall.

    Abi | abistreetx

    • Thanks so much for commenting lovely. I’m so pleased that even just one person can relate to my situation. I was starting to feel like it was just me too, or I was simply useless with my money (which I’m really not). It’s very difficult when going it alone. Have you perhaps thought of shared accommodation? This will probably be my next step. I hope you reach a solution soon! xx

  • I’m 24, still going to Uni and still at home with my family. 99% of my friends are in the same situation, but I’m kinda worried when I think about next year: Uni will be over, I need to find a good job and .. move out? I lived abroad alone for months and I quite liked that life but the stress over little things for financial reasons… mm : not ready yet for those anxieties eheh.
    Glad you’re in a happy place right now! No need to feel ashamed at all 🙂

    Caterina |

    • Thanks for commenting lovely! Living alone abroad sounds so wonderful! I’m sure you’ll be fine! As I mentioned to Abi have you perhaps thought of shared accommodation, maybe with uni friends? Could be a fab start for you 🙂 xx

  • Monia Cagnazzo

    I can imagin how hard it is to live alone. Finance is the biggest issue. Actually a lot of people don‘t even think about it until it happens.
    I hope your feeling a lot better now and wish you all the best! ♡

    Monia |